What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why do we often have strong feelings for our twin flames, even if they don't feel the same way? Is there a way to make them realize their true feelings for us?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Astronomers discover ultrapowerful black hole jet as bright as 10 trillion suns lit by Big Bang's afterglow - Space

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do my friends always say "yeah, we've heard this before" when I talk about something I'm passionate about?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do women wear less clothes compared to men?

TEXT:

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why is Taylor Swift re-recording her albums?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Are there legal obligations to report the known whereabouts of a missing person that doesn’t want to be found?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.